Ok, I read this today and I feel that I have to include this on the blog. This is not my list so you can go to The Wittenburg Door to read the actual article. I am simply posting this because I feel that it is my job to partner with Sonlife radio in telling the one's I love and care about (you) whether or not you are worthy of the kingdom of God. Read, then pray. It's that simple.
- If you are a fan of inter-league play in Major League Baseball, you are not a Christian.
Heaven's gates are closed to you if you have ever used the phrase "da bomb".
- If you own a Kenny G CD, then Jesus is not your friend.
- Men who wear fashion necklaces can forget about eternal life.
- Women with ankle tattoos have no place in God's kingdom.
- People who call me "Big Guy" may not be going to Hell but they will spend quite a while in purgatory.
- Anyone who calls me at dinner time with "terrific news about your current mortgage loan" is on a greased pole to Gehenna.
- Those with an excessively long order at Starbucks are in danger of the eternal hot foot.
- If Ringo is your favorite Beatle, God doesn't want your business.
- If you wear a mullet, surprisingly, God is cool with that.
- But if you wear a gimme cap that reads "Bikini Inspector" you have crossed God's line.
- People with cell phones that play "La Bamba" will incur God's wrath.
- Anyone remotely involved in writing the last episode of Seinfeld is most certainly not a Christian.
7 comments:
Haha.
I listened to about 10 minutes of SONLIFE's spectacular call-in show yesterday. They were ripping on the Emergent Church. Because, you know, its based on that contemplative prayer and secular philosophy, with their new age convert.
Deception in the church. Deception.
Quote of the day:
"'Philosophy' comes from two greek words - 'philos' and 'sophia' - meaning 'the love of wisdom.' (various groans from the panel). Well, if you love wisdom, then you're not loving God."
- Resident Nut.
Thanks for keeping me enlightened. Now that I am away from Cleveland, I feel that the only chance I have to make it to heaven will be through your comments telling me of my wrong ways. Thanks for the comment and keep listening to Sonlife. If you need me, I will be throwing away my collection of emergent/postmodern books. I guess I also need to get rid of the yoga tapes. I guess I have a lot of work to do.
start growing out those mullets boys
I've already started the mullet. Since starting my mullet, I have had this overwhelming urge to go hang out at wal-mart. Go figure.
You can listen to SONLIFE at www.jsm.org. If you have internet capabilities at home.
And if you have a mullet, you need a NASCAR jacket, and a cigarette hanging out of your mouth before you go to Walmart.
hey chris do you want to be a youth pastor in Tyler, Texas?
Our youth pastor resigned recently.
It is not a post-modern church but it probably pays well if you're for sale. ;) Not sure what your situation is there in bama.
If you are interested shoot me an e-mail: michaelm@roseheights.org
or mdmcmullin@gmail.com
Dr. Waldrop subscribes to The Door. I sneak looks at his copies when he gets them. Tee Hee.
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